


I've been ghosting

by My_Day_Romance



Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Middle School, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Being Lost, Dave | Technoblade-centric, Dialogue Heavy, Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, How Do I Tag, I should be doing homework, Internal Monologue, Is Technoblade me or am I technoblade, Light Angst, Mentioned Eret (Video Blogging RPF), Mentioned Ranboo (Video Blogging RPF), Mentions of Eating Disorder, Monologue, Multiple Pronouns for Eret (Video Blogging RPF), Other, Overthinking, People Change People, Sad Dave | Technoblade, Suicidal Thoughts, They/Them Pronouns for Eret (Video Blogging RPF), Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, depressed Technoblade, kinda social anxiety, procrastination king, we will never know
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-02
Updated: 2020-12-25
Packaged: 2021-03-10 05:07:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,174
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27828721
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/My_Day_Romance/pseuds/My_Day_Romance
Summary: The Change of Technoblade;Or:I cope with fictional characters experiencing the stuff I did but make it more dramatic.
Relationships: Dave | Technoblade & Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Dave | Technoblade & Toby Smith | Tubbo, Dave | Technoblade & TommyInnit, Dave | Technoblade & Wilbur Soot
Comments: 7
Kudos: 110





	1. Chapter 1

**New Chances**

  
Everyone knew Technoblade. He was one of those kids most people just noticed but forgot about the next second. He liked it that way, no one was too close and there wasn't anyone who wanted to know more about him.  
Time flew by and nothing changed. Techno was just a ghost who sometimes appeared in their minds from time to time.  
Glares full of pity stared upon him, and their shadows whispered words full of venom. Oh, the lonely king has been alone for too long, but who wants to talk to a bitter, cold-hearted person which forgot to care oh so long ago.  
It was hard for him to learn the things didn't change when he waited. So much time was wasted while hoping and dreaming. Techno was stuck. The image he once so loved was now a hated shadow which never left his side.  
There was this boy from Great Britain who talked to him, and just sometimes Techno would answer. People would often mixup their names, but both were never mad.  
Techno told Wilbur so much things and yet he kept the most important things hidden.  
Only Phil would know his darkest secrets but it would not stay like this.  
Sometimes Wilbur did bring two boys, a loud one and a wholesome one, and Techno was getting soft. He hated it and wanted to go back to the beginning, but he never wanted to be the lonely king again. Phil always told him how proud he was and how much more social Techno nowadays was, and the once so cold heart began to accept warmth.  
"Family is whoever you want it to be"  
He had his little family. Phil, Wilbur, Tommy and Tubbo. They were always enough and no more people were needed. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Working on chapter 2, might take longer than the first one cause it has more plot :)


	2. 2. It was all yellow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Techno in Highschool, very stressed yet he gets invited to a party; what will he do?
> 
> or:  
> Techno suffers from depression but is high functioning and goes to highschool.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This time it's an Highschool AU, and because I'm queer myself, why not make Technoblade somewhat queer too. Nothing explicit, just something mentioned. :) Also I tried to make it clear Techno has adhd, but I don't know if it's accurate.  
> Tw: Blood, Skinpicking, eating disorder

How is he _still_ passing the senior year?  
Techno curses himself for sleeping too much and never doing anything, cause there are two assignments he still needs to finish.  
So much things to and yet time seems to pass so fast.  
His phone ringing stops Techno from overthinking, and he accepts the call thankfully.  
"If it wasn't weekend now, you wouldn't even be able accept the call and talk with me!" scolds Phil him and Dave just smiled at the dad-like attitude of his friend. " Yes _**Dad**_. But there's a reason you called, right?" Techno asks and begins to pick his skin. Blood escapes the little wound and all he does is stare at it. Aware that Phil's still talking, he tries to shift his focus on Phil but fails. "Techno, you there?" the older male asks and Techno realizes he's spaced out again. "Sorry Phil, it has been a hard night and I stayed up very late to finish some homework. You know I struggle with physics a lot." he said and felt a tad guilty for not telling the whole truth.  
  
"Well, I was just telling you about this party you were invited to. Skeppy is the host, he thought the seniors deserved some fun after these stressful weeks. You have to tell me till wednesday if you wanna come tho, cause skeppy wants to make a list." Phil repeats the stuff he already said earlier. They continue talking for some more minutes, and Techno hangs up, simply because he still has to do homework.  
  
If he has time till wednesday and today's Monday there are 3 days left, enough to think about the situation. A creak could be heard and soon footsteps followed, till Techno stopped to look at his calendar. Skeppy wouldn't be so stupid and celebrate a party in the middle of the week, right? He had once a hangover while trying to write a test and it wasn't a pleasant experience.  
  
His thoughts get interrupted by his dad asking if he would like bacon for breakfast. His answer was (obviously) yes and his dad goes downstairs again. Techno still needs to get ready for school so that he doesn't look too bad.  
His long, pink hair gets brushed and is being put in a braid. Techno normally would just tie his hair together, but today he doesn't feel like it, cause it's already a tad greasy and there's not enough time to wash his hair and let it dry.  
He pulls out a flannel and black jeans out of his closet, gets dressed and finally goes downstairs.  
  
His mom hugs him to greet him, but she's almost 20 cm shorter than her son, so Techno has to lean down a bit.  
His dad just points to a plate, bacon and eggs. The Blade family eats breakfast in peace and soon Techno needs to go to school. Her mom reminds him again, that she will be visiting her sister with his dad. Techno says goodbye to his parents and closes the front door with a loud _thud_.  
  
Too much people are in the hallway when he arrives. Immediately Phil spots him and rushes to greet his friend. Luckily Phil and Techno locker's are next to each other so Technoblade doesn't have to worry about searching Phil and needing to find his way through the crowd of students. The first subject of today is P.E and it doesn't even bother Techno very much. He doesn't work out daily but he's still fit. They always did run on the sports field and it was almost every time enjoyable, unless it's summer.  
  
After P.E, it was time for English. They needed to interpret a scene from a book of their choice as an big assignment. All Techno could think was that, thank God, no Shakespeare.  
Their teacher really loved Shakespeare and unfortunately because of that everything they did with literature somehow involved the English man. Monday wasn't Dave's favorite day but at least he could see his friends in the breaks.  
  
Somehow two boys always followed Wilbur, a boy he has known since 7th grade, around and at one point they just became part of the friend group. These two boys were Tubbo and Tommy. Even tho Techno would never admit it, but even if he complained so often about the youngest in the group, he still liked the boy. Tubbo was much more quiet than Tommy and liked bees very much.  
"Hey, Big T! I heard you got invited to a party." Tommy greeted Techno loudly as he sat down at the table. "No, I won't be sneaking you in." said the older male, and Tommy just groaned. Phil and Wilbur laughed, Tubbo just giggled. Tommy proceeded to complain about Techno being mean some minutes, but eventually grew quiet.  
  
Their friend group wasn't big, but it was enough. Without them Techno would be very lonely. He remembered middle school and how everyone just ignored him. It hurt but he always kept these memories in his head to remind him to be grateful for everything that happened to him. He tuned out the conversation his friend held to get the unwanted thoughts out of his head. "Hey Techno. You there?" Wilbur asked and Phil looked at him worried. He hesitated and nodded.  
  
Emotions were weird for him, cause they were the one thing he couldn't control. "Just have been thinking. I think I forgot to take my meds today, I honestly don't remember." Techno admitted and was suddenly aware that all of his friends looked at him. "Which medication? The antidepressants or the ones for adhd." Phil asked, and a frown appeared on his face. It was too quiet, every breath he took was too loud and it felt like everyone in the room could hear their conversation. Guilt and Shame, that was all he felt.  
  
They were going to be disappointed in him and maybe even leave him. Somebody shook him, it was Tommy. "Sorry, it was my adhd medication. I was just really stressed this morning." he said quietly. That wasn't true, his medication always made him very sleepy and he already slept enough, and he didn't want to trouble his parents. Phil just nodded sympathetically and offered Techno help whenever he was struggling. The others agreed with Phil, and Dave felt appreciated, like he didn't just revealed a big inability. Somehow he was able to survive school, but only with not being concentrated the last 3 lessons. He would just look at his notes at home to somehow understand the stuff their teacher explained (he wouldn't).  
  
The first thing he did when he came home was looking for his parents. He went to his room after he remembered they were visiting his aunt. The only thing left from them was probably some dollars, so Techno didn't starve.  
If he was honest, he didn't remember the last time he actually felt hunger, or anything at all.  
It was nice to be able to hide behind this mask of an cold-hearted person, because everything that was left seems to be unknown or dead. "Nope, don't need to think about that now."  
Just when Dave began searching for a pan, his phone pinged. It was Tommy, and he asked for help with homework. Not like Techno was struggling himself, but he wanted to help his friend ( **to be useful for once** ). The text Tommy received was "_I'll help you in 40 minutes Nerd._".  
Once the food was warm all he did was stare at the food. Techno wasn't even hungry anymore, and he would go to bed in 5 hours anyway, what's the point to eat just for 5 hours? He wouldn't even be able to concentrate either, and an empty stomach didn't make a difference, right?  
No one would know he didn't eat and if he passed out, he would wake up at some time, so why did he worry? Was it because everyone of his friends was so worried about Techno?  
He made the decision to skip the meal because it was just one, and it wasn't like he didn't eat anything the whole day. ( **He ate two slices of bread** )  
  
His phone interrupted his spiraling thoughts and Tommy shouted at him. " Just leave me hanging for 20 minutes, Techno. Not like I promised Tubbo to send him the results once I have them all." the younger boy revealed his plan. Techno just rolled his eyes and asked what the subject was.  
"Fucking English. You're good at English, right?" Tommy asked, and Techno sighed and answered with an yes. The next ten minutes Tommy explained what he needed to do and about which theme the homework needed to be about.  
"If you need to write an essay about a foreign country, just choose Japan or China. Both are countries with interesting culture." said Techno and remembered vaguely reading a book called the art of war, written by someone with the name Sun Tzu.  
Tommy thanked Techno for the tip and said he owes him something. A chuckle escaped Techno and soon he was laughing.  
The poor boy was already struggling and he was just a sophomore yet.  
Tommy was even more hyper sometimes than Techno, and definitely a lot louder than everyone in their friend group. They didn't mind because when it got too quiet, no one really knew what to say without making things akward. While he was in thoughts he found his way to his bed and just sat there, fidgeting with his hands. To avoid thinking, the long forgotten math homework was finished and Techno also cleaned his desk.  
Before going to bed he picked up his laptop to play some rounds bed wars and when he noticed he was getting more tired the more time passed he logged out of minecraft and shut down his computer.  
(The food didn't even enter his mind one time after the conversation with Tommy.)  
  
The alarm clock rung at exactly 5 am and Techno just had gotten enough sleep to function and somewhat concentrate.  
His breakfast was a sandwich and a second one for school was made quickly after. Thursday was always a short day for Technoblade cause he chose creative writing as an extra lesson and therefore could skip P.E.[Would be possible at my school i think, that's why I added it.]"""

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is only part 1 and I even messed up the html, so all the ' are supposed to be quotes. Might fix it in the future, but for now I just wanna post this monster of text.  
> Chapter title; yellow by coldplay


	3. I am just a fool to keep on chasing after nothing great...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part 2 of the second chapter,  
> Or: Techno and Ranboo interact and we get told how Eret and Techno met!  
> Tw: suicidal thoughts, overthinking, ed  
> (title inspired by fool by cavetown)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This contains overthinking and other possible triggering things. I'll always add disclaimers in the beginning of each chapter, if you don't wanna/can't read the chapter because of that, just leave a comment and i'll summarize what happened. Stay safe! : )  
> [Written without checking spelling errors, cause it's too much text]

Tiredness made his mind slow and he could feel his body aching with every step he made. There it was once again, the pounding in his head and the sudden hurting, being present in every fiber of Techno's body. His therapist once said it's just because of the mental illness, but why would his mind hurt him so much?

He must have looked like a fool, squinting his eyes trying to concentrate on the book in front of him, and the hot coffee in his hand. Not many people sat in the study hall at 9:30 o'clock and even made the effort to take the writing class.

Sometimes he tried to write, but it usually ended with tears. His heart was filled with emotions that just waited to be discovered and be appreciated with kind words, yet all his mind could do was to notice them and grab them and still fail each time. It frustrated him. Long ago, a promise was made by Techno to never repeat the things he did in the past and he wouldn't dare to break it. The first few things his dad said to him after seeing the cuts still echoed in his mind like a broken record. He was slipping away from reality, maybe he should have slept more.

"Hey Techno!" said a voice. It took him a few seconds to actually focus enough to see who just talked to him. It was Ranboo, a newbie who just joined their friend group recently. They bonded over being introverted and Techno was glad he wasn't extroverted. "Hey Ranboo! Don't you have class now?" asked the older boy, and said person just shook his head. "Our chemistry teacher was sick, and the lesson was cancelled. And they were like, yeah, do something but don't get in trouble." he answered and chuckled lightly. It was unusual that teachers were sick, but it happened eventually.

They both grew quiet after Ranboo explained what happened, but it wasn't too awkward. Some part of Techno's mind craved chaos, and wanted him to do something unnecessary dangerous, like destroying school property, but he still had control over his actions. Oh, the day he would lose control was truly a day everyone should fear, cause his anger issues were really bad sometimes. 

"By the way, are you invited to Skeppy's party? 'Cause knowing him, many people will come and I really don't want to regret the decision to actually go." asked Techno, and begged mentally Ranboo would say yes. Of course, Ranboo said yes, even though Technoblade knew he hated big crowds. Was he doing this for Technoblade or wanted Ranboo to find more friends? It didn't matter, cause Techno was glad more then two friends would be at the party.

More time passed and it was time for Techno to go to class. He said goodbye to his friend and packed up all of his stuff. Some people were staring at him, mostly juniors, because you didn't see a very tall pink-haired boy stand up all day. The hallway was empty, so Techno allowed himself to quietly hum a tune. Unironically it was blank space by Taylor Swift, but hey, it was a good song! Because he left too early he was the first in his French class. God, he hated his French Class. Luckily, Eret sat next to him, and they were really good at French, if not the best of the class. The Teacher was not there yet, so he had time to finish his coffee. The lessons were always very chill and they almost got tons of sheets all the time, but the teacher was very when it came to tests. That's why he memorized everything and hoped he would get a C or D. A book was pulled out of Techno's bag and he noticed grimly that he forgot to mark the page he read last. Luckily, he remembered that he finished an chapter, and flipped the chapter open the chapter that followed.

Some time passed before Eret arrived later then usually. Something was different about her, but Techno wasn't able to pinpoint it. "Why are you so early Tech?" asked Eret, and Techno just chuckled quietly.

"I forgot to turn off my alarm clock and therefore it rang too early. 's not like i would be able to fall asleep again, and i mean, it's not too bad to be early once, is it?" he answered monotonically, and Eret just laughed.

Techno still remember how they met. It was his first year going to highschool, and he was really nervous. He wasn't too sure whether he would meet all of his friend and the new school was so big. His middle school was so tiny compared to this big building filled with hormonal, terrifying teenagers. Technoblade was already lost and really didn't want to awkwardly ask someone how to get to the room where all the freshman were supposed to go. No one familiar was in the crowd and there were too many people.

"Hey, do you need help? You seem a little lost." a deep voice asked, and when Techno turned around he faced a boy taller then him, wearing a rainbow hoodie. Techno just flinched for a second and nodded. "I need to go to the auditorium, but there are too many hallways." Technoblade mumbled quietly, hoping the other boy would understand. The stranger just nodded, and mentioned Techno to follow him.

The stranger introduced himself as Eret, and said they use all pronouns. They didn't get an answer immediately, as Techno was too uncomfortable to talk while being around too many people. Once they've reached the area where they were supposed to be, they searched an table, so they could sit together.

Techno nodded to thank Eret and they just smiled. "Techno, he/him" said the male. Eret seemed surprised that the male in front of him had such a deep voice as well. They talked for a bit, and soon it was awkwardly silent.To distract himself, Techno began fidgeting with his hands and carefully avoided the nail polish he applied to keep his nails long.

Soon the whole introduction lesson began, and a woman started speaking, but Techno soon stopped paying attention. After everything every important person spoke, Eret tapped his shoulder and handed him some papers with general information. The rest of the day was spent with walking around the school and showing every freshman around. After the tour ended, Eret offered her number so they could stay in touch, and Techno gladly handed his phone to the other person.

"I just remembered how we met. Thanks for offering me help i guess." Technoblade expressed his thanks. It's not often he would be affectionate with people, unless they were close, but he was grateful for the stuff Eret did. Said person just laughed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have an beta reader now :) Make sure to follow @The_forgoten_one.


End file.
